I think you’re spot on Brenda. I think your self concept, the story that you tell yourself, is terrified it will die. In the example from the blog, if I told myself that I’m someone who gets things done, missing that meeting and letting people down doesn’t vibe with my story. It’s painful, so I resist.
As for transcending learned behavior, I think you need an aha moment, or as I recently wrote about… you need to die before you die (kill you ego, your story)… unlearn your years programming. This can be also done over time by changing habits. I was an addict for 15 years, and 5 years ago extreme suffering killed my story, and I never looked back. I transcended my learned behavior. Here is that article if you want to have a read https://medium.com/the-mission/what-its-like-to-die-before-you-die-ba3fbef91e5